Eloping Etiquette: How to Get Married Your Way (Without Burning Bridges)

Your guide to eloping with grace: Find out how to handle invites, announcements, gifts, and post-elopement celebrations without the stress of a big wedding.

Eloping isn’t just a quick way to tie the knot. For many couples, it’s a deeply intentional decision to step away from tradition and reclaim their wedding day.

But if you’re thinking about eloping, you may still be wondering:

• How do we do this without hurting anyone’s feelings?
• Are we supposed to send announcements?
• Should we still register for gifts?

Eloping doesn’t mean throwing all etiquette out the window. It just means redefining what etiquette looks like when the wedding is personal, intimate, and (frankly) way less stressful. Below, we break down how to handle your elopement with clarity, kindness, and confidence.

1. Decide Who (If Anyone) to Invite to Your Elopement

Let’s start with the big question: Will it just be the two of you? Or will a few loved ones join you?

• Just the Two of You: A true elopement is typically just the couple, an officiant, and maybe a photographer. This keeps things intimate and free from expectations.
• A Few Loved Ones: If you’d like to include immediate family or close friends, that’s totally fine! Just make sure it remains small to keep the essence of an elopement.
• No Pressure: If someone gets upset about not being invited, remind them that this is about your love story—not a big event.

Etiquette Tip:

If you invite guests, make sure they know it’s a small, intimate elopement, not a standard wedding.

2. Telling Friends and Family You Eloped

If you’re eloping without telling anyone in advance, the way you share the news afterward matters.

• Tell close family personally: A quick phone call or video chat with your parents or siblings goes a long way. It helps them feel included, even if they weren’t there.
• Send a thoughtful announcement: Whether digital or printed, a post-elopement announcement lets you share the news in a joyful, celebratory way.
• Be honest and kind: If someone expresses disappointment, you can acknowledge their feelings while affirming your choice.

Etiquette tip:

Don’t let your parents find out on Facebook or Instagram. Share the news personally before posting anything publicly.

3. Consider a Post-Elopement Celebration

If you’re worried about hurt feelings, a small gathering afterward can be a great compromise.

Ideas for Celebrating After Eloping:

• Casual Party: Host a relaxed backyard BBQ, brunch, or cocktail party.
• Fancy Dinner: Book a private dining room at a restaurant for an intimate celebration. Reach out if you need some recommendations in NYC!
• Destination Celebration: Plan a weekend getaway with close family & friends.
• Wedding Reception: If you want a bigger celebration later, plan a post-elopement reception with music, speeches, and dancing!

Etiquette Tip:

Make it clear this is a post-elopement celebration, not a second wedding. No one should feel obligated to give gifts or wear formal attire.

4. Do You Need to Send Invitations?

Not for the elopement itself, but you can send invitations or announcements depending on your plans.

• For a private elopement: Send a “We Eloped!” announcement after the fact. Include a favorite photo and a note that shares the joy.
• For elopements with guests: A simple, informal invite is perfect. Digital works great. Just give people the essential info: when, where, what to wear, and whether there’s anything happening after the ceremony.

Etiquette Tip:

If you’re hosting a celebration after the elopement, you can send printed invites — just keep the language clear and celebratory, not overly formal.

5. Should You Still Register for Gifts?

You can, but it’s not required. Many couples choose to create a registry even if they elope, because friends and family may ask. Others prefer to skip gifts entirely. Here are some options to consider:

• A simple registry with a few items you truly need
• A honeymoon fund
• A charitable donation option
• Or no registry at all — totally your call

Etiquette Tip:

Make it clear that gifts are appreciated but not expected. Don’t include registry links in your announcement. Only share it if people ask.

6. Share Your Elopement in a Way That Feels Good

One of the best parts of eloping is getting to share your day with others after it happens in a way that feels true to you.

• Hire a great photographer (and maybe videographer) so you can relive the magic.
• Create a photo album or short highlight video to share with friends and family.
• Send photo cards or write a short reflection about the day to go with your announcement.

Etiquette Tip:

Posting your elopement on social media is fine, but be mindful of family and close friends who may feel left out. Reach out to them personally first.

7. Don’t Feel Guilty… This is YOUR Wedding!

The most important rule of eloping etiquette? Do what makes you happy!

💖 You don’t need to apologize for choosing to elope.
💖 You don’t need to justify skipping a traditional wedding.
💖 You don’t need to feel bad if some people don’t understand your decision.

At the end of the day, your wedding is about your love and commitment, not about meeting everyone else’s expectations.

Etiquette Tip:

If people push back, stay firm but kind. A simple “This was the perfect way for us to get married” is all you need to say.

Final Thoughts: The Right Way to Elope

Eloping is one of the most effortless and romantic ways to get married. With a little thoughtfulness and a sprinkle of communication, you can honor your relationships and have a wedding day that actually reflects who you are.

Quick Recap:

• Invite who you want (or don’t)
• Tell loved ones in a personal way
• Celebrate afterward if you’d like
• Share photos to include others in the joy
• Ditch the guilt! You don’t need it.

Planning to elope in NYC and want a team that handles everything with care, style, and zero judgment?

Click the “Inquire” button below! We’d love to help you do this your way.