How to Cancel Your Wedding and Elope Instead

Feeling the wedding pressure? Find out how to navigate the transition from big-wedding overwhelm to a joy-filled NYC elopement.

So you’ve been deep in the rabbit hole of wedding planning, sifting through endless spreadsheets and guest lists, but something feels off. The thought of a big wedding makes your stomach churn, as if you’re staring down into the unknown. The pressure to please everyone and the weight of expectations seem to grow heavier by the day. The sheer thought of spending thousands on a day that doesn’t truly reflect your love feels suffocating. If this sounds familiar, it might be time to consider a different path — one that celebrates your relationship authentically and joyfully.

Listen: You’re not alone, and guess what? Canceling those grand plans for an elopement could be the best decision you ever make. We are here today to share our wisdom and experience on gracefully navigating this transition. 

Remember this wise adage: “Don’t throw good money after bad.” This saying is a lifeline when you hit that wall of realization that the “big wedding” isn’t the path for you.

Why You’re Not Alone in This Journey

Believe me when I say it takes immense courage, strength, and a deep understanding of yourself to cancel your wedding and choose to elope instead.

For over a decade, we’ve been at the forefront of elopement culture, helping hundreds of couples who’ve faced the same crossroads you’re at right now. We’ve heard countless stories of wedding plans being scrapped in favor of a more intimate experience. And honestly, it’s liberating!

As my mom always says, “All things happen for a reason.”  Or if it’s a REALLY tough patch, she will assure me that the “bad” thing that happened is leading the way to something much better.  When you take a step back and realize that a lavish wedding just isn’t you, it opens the door to something truly magical.

Your sanity, happiness, and well-being are priceless. Yes, weddings can drive even the calmest souls to the brink of madness! If you feel like you’re spiraling down that path, give yourself permission to tap out. Think of it as a life tax — an investment in your peace of mind. Embracing this change can be the first step toward a celebration that truly reflects who you are as a couple.

The Transition: Embracing Change

Once you decide to cancel your big wedding, it’s normal to experience a mourning period for what could have been. You might feel nostalgic about the grand vision you had — those elaborate plans can be hard to let go of. However, trust me when I say that the moment you choose to follow your heart and elope instead, that weight will lift.

We’ve witnessed this transformation countless times with our couples — initial hesitation quickly gives way to relief, joy, and excitement for the journey ahead! The anxiety of coordinating logistics and the pressure to please everyone dissipate, allowing you to focus on what truly matters: your love for one another.

Embracing this change opens up a world of possibilities. Picture exchanging vows in a secret garden, beneath the iconic cherry blossoms in spring, or in a charming, historic street that tells your love story, or amidst the iconic skyline of Manhattan… The freedom to personalize every detail without compromise allows you to craft a celebration that genuinely reflects who you are as a couple.

So, while it’s natural to feel a sense of loss, remember that this transition is an opportunity for a new beginning — one that celebrates your love story on your terms.

Real Stories from Real Couples

Let’s dive into some recent inquiries that beautifully illustrate this transformative shift:

• “We just canceled our large Yosemite wedding scheduled for September because it just didn’t feel like us. We’re trying to come up with a plan B that doesn’t involve a lot of decision-making so we can focus on each other!”
  
• “We planned on getting married in Memphis in April with over 250 guests. Just before sending out invites, we faced a flood that took everything from us. After years together, we realized our wedding needs to be about us, not anyone else.”

5 Steps to Cancel Your Wedding and Start Planning Your Elopement

1. Review Your Contracts

First things first — get your contracts out! Every vendor has cancellation clauses, so familiarize yourself with these and brace for the reality of forfeiting your deposit. For instance, if you booked a venue and a caterer, check how much of your deposit is refundable. If you purchased wedding insurance, comb through that policy too; it might cover certain cancellation scenarios. Create an action plan to navigate these waters smoothly, like setting up a checklist of what needs to be done, and be prepared to sign a cancellation agreement, as most vendors will require this to relieve you from further obligations. Yes, canceling a wedding requires some effort, but the payoff is immense — peace of mind and true happiness await you.

2. Prepare Your Announcements

Next up, it’s time to let your friends and family know about the change. How you announce this will depend on your situation. Consider the timeline: 

• How far out is your date? If it’s just a few weeks away, you might want to reach out directly. 
• Have guests booked travel? If your aunt has already booked her flight from across the country, a personal call is a must! 
• Did your bridal party invest in custom wedding swag? They’ll likely appreciate a heads-up sooner rather than later. 

For those closest to you, a heartfelt email or phone call can make all the difference. For everyone else, a simple unsave-the-date card or email works wonders.

3. Send Un-Save-the-Date Cards

Now that your announcement is prepared, it’s time to notify your guests. Keep it simple and straightforward, but if you want to save yourself many awkward future coffee date conversations, offer a bit of context. You want your loved ones to understand the heart behind your decision!

We created a few mock save the date cards for you to inspire your announcement. Feel free to steal our words if they resonate:

• After careful consideration, we decided that a big wedding was not the right thing for us. We are still very much getting married but are planning a smaller affair. We hope to be able to celebrate with you at some point in the future. We appreciate your support and understanding.
  
• We are so excited to announce that we are eloping! When we tried on the idea of a big wedding, much like a poofy white gown, it just didn’t quite fit right. We are so grateful for a community of friends and family that love us in big ways, and we know that that big love will be felt deeply during our small ceremony.
  
• Life is short, and we are taking a step back from the stress of a big wedding and have decided to elope instead! We want to celebrate this next chapter of our lives by choosing “cool, calm, and collected” verses “stressed out, anxious, and in debt!” We can’t wait to celebrate in many ways with our loved ones down the road, but for now, this is our gift to ourselves!

4. Start Planning Your Elopement

Now, let’s turn those lemons into the sweetest lemonade! With the pressure of a big wedding off your shoulders, you can focus on what you truly want. Maybe you want to keep a few traditional elements like a first dance or a parent walking you down the aisle. Or maybe you want to throw tradition out the window entirely!

At Eloping Is Fun, our motto is simple: “Your wedding, your rules.” Nothing is off the table. We’re here to help you incorporate every dreamy detail into your authentic, fun, exciting wedding day!

5. Celebrate Your Way: Let Us Bring Your Dream Day to Life

Finally, it’s time to fully embrace the freedom that comes with eloping! This is your chance to create a day that feels entirely true to you both. Say goodbye to the constraints of traditional wedding expectations and hello to limitless possibilities. (No, seriously — I know it sounds corny but it’s TRUE.)

At Eloping Is Fun, we believe that planning your elopement should be an exciting and joyful experience, not a source of stress. That’s why we handle every detail for you, allowing you to focus on what truly matters: celebrating your love.

Our dedicated team, led by Chief Inspiration Officer and Elopement Fairy Godmother Jenny (that’s me!) and our Planning Guru Becca, is here to bring your vision to life. Alongside our talented officiants, skilled photographers, and videographers, we ensure that every detail aligns perfectly with your unique love story. From the moment you reach out to us until the final moments of your special day, we offer expert guidance and creative ideas to craft an unforgettable experience tailored to your individual style.

Imagine selecting a stunning location that resonates with your love story — be it the enchanting beauty of Central Park, the vibrant energy of a Brooklyn street, or the serene waterfront. This is your opportunity to let your creativity shine! Incorporate personal touches that reflect your relationship, whether it’s through your attire, custom vows, or a cozy picnic afterward.

Celebrate your love story in a way that excites and inspires you both — after all, this is your big day! Soak in the joy of being together, surrounded by the beauty of your chosen location, and create memories that will last a lifetime.

Ready to Make the Leap?

If you’re excited to explore elopement options with our full pricing guide, or have questions about planning your perfect day, reach out to us via our contact page! We’re here to guide you through every step of your elopement journey, ensuring it’s as amazing as your love story deserves.

With love and confetti,
Jenny